He stormed into rooms like a hurricane, demanding perfection and driving teams to exhaustion with his vision for how things should be. His intensity built something revolutionary, yet it also blinded him to the people around him. In the end, the board of directors forced him out of the company he had founded in a garage. At thirty, he was a fallen icon who had lost everything he built.

Exile hit hard, but he started over. He launched a new venture and bought a struggling movie business. Those years away stripped away arrogance. He learned to channel passion without destruction and focus on what made products profitable as well as beautiful.

A decade later, the company that once rejected him brought him back. This time as a wiser leader who simplified, empowered, and turned near-bankruptcy into one of the most valuable companies on earth.

That person was Steve Jobs.

So much of his early story mirrors what happens to far too many smart, talented leaders who believe they are doing the right thing, when in fact they are working against their teams.

A meeting full of people ready to share ideas turns into silence and resentment when a manager jumps in to dictate how things will be done, sometimes even dismissing ideas before they are fully shared.

The conversation goes quiet. Ideas and suggestions stop flowing. The grapevine goes into overdrive. The smartest person in the room syndrome destroys morale faster than missed deadlines or budget cuts. When a manager insists on proving superior expertise, they silence contributions.

So much of this story marks is similar to 

Domain knowledge matters. A leader must know enough to be competent at their craft to moderate discussions and serve as final approver. But dictating solutions denies people the opportunity to develop professionally and turns them into spectators. When leaders listen to understand and discern, people open up. They own outcomes because they helped shape them.

There are countless stories of “terrible managers” who rose from hands-on roles without preparation. They micromanage, override decisions, and wonder why turnover spikes.

The culprit? A pattern too common to ignore: promote the high-performing but unprepared individual contributor, watch them struggle as a manager, and leave the team to suffer the consequences.

Promoting your best individual contributor to manager is often a quiet demotion for the team and sometimes for the person. The company loses a star contributor and gains a novice leader. Preparedness is key to succeeding in a new role.

Letting Go and Embracing a New Role

Insisting on knowing every detail abdicates the responsibilities of the new role. Leadership and management focus on the team’s output: delivered at reasonable speed, within affordable budget, and to quality standards.

With larger teams and more complex projects, a know-it-all manager becomes a bottleneck. Not only in the effort required to keep up with everything, but also in frustrating the team. Decisions pile up on one person, progress and innovation slow down, and burnout spreads.

Before defining leadership and management according to your own view of the world, those in leadership positions should ask: What is the canonical definition? What is truly expected?

You may be asking yourself:

• Is there a formal definition for leadership? Yes, there is.
• Is there a formal definition for management? Yes, there is.

I’ll cover formal definitions in a future essay. Subscribe if you want to be the first to know, or send me a message at https://dalmocirne.com/contact

The Real Cost and the Way Forward

The costs are invisible and intangible, yet everyone knows they are very high. The price is paid by everyone, yet many see the situation as the unavoidable cost of doing business.

It doesn’t have to be that way. The fix begins with preparedness. Management is a distinct craft, not a reward for past output. And if a person is not ready for it, the new role may feel like a punishment.

In part, leadership is about getting it right, rather than being right. The two metrics that really matter are the output and longevity of teams. Consistent output over a long period of time is only possible if accompanied with high quality and reasonable costs. Team longevity is only possible when doing meaningful work, realistic timelines, and great leadership.

One final point: discussion is collective, but the final call is yours alone. Never hide behind consensus to avoid making a decision. Choosing and living with its consequences is the price, the expectation, and the privilege of leadership.